Jeff Bezos’ texts to his lover, Lauren Sanchez, have seemingly been leaked to the National Enquirer. They included such gems as “I want to smell you, I want to breathe you in” and “I love you, alive girl. I will show you with my body, and my lips, and my eyes, very soon.”
As the billionaire proprietor of the Washington Post, Bezos has a complete workforce of journalists at his disposal, and “alive girl” is what he determined to go along with.
Bezos was promptly mocked on Twitter, with customers like @MikeBeauvais quipping “women love to receive sexts that make them wonder if they’re dating a necrophiliac.” @Vasilethedeal remarked “these read like Bezos asked Alexa to text his mistress and this is what she came up with.”
Bezos isn’t the primary high-profile man whose horrible sexts have been made public.
Everyone from Justin Bieber to Salman Rushdie has seen their sexts leak out. Who can neglect Anthony Weiner? But, whereas I’m not overly inclined to defend adulterous males who ship out creepy sexts, who amongst us has romantic texts that wouldn’t appear ridiculous to strangers?
Powerful males used to ship out love letters like Napoleon’s to Josephine declaring, “apart from you there is no joy; away from you, the world is a desert where I am alone and cannot open my heart.” Prince Albert wrote Queen Victoria, “Your image fills my whole soul. Even in my dreams I never imagined that I should find so much love on earth.”
That was then. Now we stay in an age of midnight texts that learn “What u doin?” Sometimes with an eggplant emoji, for added aptitude.
Jeff Bezos at the least will get some credit score for typing out full phrases. But horrible texts like his have spawned numerous web sites like Texts from Last Night and even artwork festivals like final 12 months’s SextingAF in Brooklyn, by which folks submitted the worst sexts they’ve ever acquired.
Where notes from the previous may need impressed murmurs of ardour, texts from the current encourage cries of hilarity.
Of course, it’s not simply the language that’s missing in sexts. It’s not shocking to listen to that Bezos despatched raunchy pics to Sanchez. Men do love sending nudes of themselves, even males who seem like Jeff Bezos. Pretty a lot each girl has acquired a couple of of these, and never been thrilled. According to a 2014 survey from Match.com, horny photographs from males are ladies’s greatest texting turn-off. So, whereas an image may usually be value a thousand phrases, your d–okay pics are mainly nugatory so far as impressing ladies go.
And it’s value remembering that your missives may not be as non-public as you suppose. A 2016 examine from Kinsey Institute at Indiana University discovered that, even in case you’re in a dedicated relationship, your texts have a 22.9% likelihood of being leaked.
Maybe all of us have to up our sport. Or, , write an precise letter.
Because proper now, nobody is tying up their texts in a reasonably ribbon for his or her grandchildren to marvel over.
If those we’re getting are like those Bezos’ is sending, we’re all simply attempting to neglect them as shortly as attainable.