This French thriller makes ‘Fifty Shades’ look wholesome

This French thriller makes ‘Fifty Shades’ look wholesome

Wednesday is Valentine’s Day. For a lot of in love, meaning dinner by candlelight, an expensive bottle of wine and heart-shaped goodies. However for kinkier pairs and single unhappy sacks, it’s time for one factor: smutty motion pictures.

Two new movies — “Fifty Shades Freed” (out Friday) and “Double Lover” (out Wednesday) — will fulfill each tantalizing style. “Freed,” the third and remaining chapter in E.L. James’ standard BDSM collection, finds Anastasia Steele and Christian Gray enduring the ups and downs of married life.

In the meantime, the distinguished French flick “Double Lover” is a few younger Parisian, Chloé, who begins relationship Paul, her smoldering therapist, and shortly suffers the results.

Right here’s what you might want to learn about these skinematic nights out.

The tone

“Fifty Shades Freed”: This third chapter seems like Netflix’s healthful “A Christmas Prince“ — with idyllic environments, excellent outfits and Hallmark sheen — if that chintzy film had a number of nudity and intercourse scenes in it.

“Double Lover”: It’s a psychological, crazy-lady traditional à la “Black Swan,” with loads of sleazy hookups and melodramatic breakdowns. However as a result of it’s set in Paris, “L’amant Double” is the peak of sophistication.

Steamiest scene

“Fifty Shades Freed”: Whereas the couple is honeymooning on the French Riviera, Christian handcuffs Ana to the mattress aboard his megayacht, and the very match actors go about burning some energy. Yacht equals scorching.

“Double Lover”: What begins out as a dream-sequence threesome involving Chloé, her therapist, Paul and his twin brother turns right into a dream-sequence foursome when she sprouts a second head. Vive la France!

Trashy occasions

“Fifty Shades Freed”: Bowls of ice cream — not only for spoons anymore! Late at night time, Anastasia and Christian have a tryst on the kitchen desk of their Aspen manse, which they’re sharing with three different folks. Ana will get artistic with dessert and turns her husband’s abs right into a Chilly Stone Creamery.

“Double Lover”: Nothing says “Will you marry me?” like a visit to an grownup toy retailer! Chloé and Paul make a — ahem! — formidable buy, and strap in for a journey.

Unintentionally hilarious half

“Fifty Shades Freed”: The collection has lengthy tried to make Jamie Dornan’s Christian one thing extra than simply scorching a bit of money — a real romantic main man. This newest weak effort includes the hunky billionaire singing “Possibly I’m Amazed” whereas tickling the keys of a child grand in Aspen. Had been we amazed? Possibly not.

“Double Lover”: The French flick is filled with creepy-crawly cats. Chloé has a feline pal named Milo, and Paul’s twin brother has one other. However one belonging to Chloé’s unsettling neighbor simply so occurs to be stuffed, in a ready-to-pounce place. Naturally, the taxidermied kitty is stored within the visitor bed room, the place Chloé spends the night time.

Say ‘uncle!’

“Fifty Shades Freed”: Down within the notorious Pink Room of Ache, Christian tries out a couple of of his new acquisitions on Ana prefer it’s a rom-com makeover montage. However among the intimate devices aren’t a lot attractive as they’re terrifying.

“Double Lover”: Originally of the movie, Chloé pays a go to to her gynecologist, which we observe from the physician’s viewpoint. The daring second makes moviegoers pay a go to to their psychological secure place.